The Reason for the Season

First off, Merry Christmas!! It’s now that wonderful season where we celebrate Christ’s birth and memorialize that event through the giving of gifts to one another, just as God gave us the gift of Christ Jesus. Oh Crap!! What a politically incorrect thing to say! Like it or not, the celebration of Christmas (or Hanukkah for that matter) is inexorably tied to religion. It is impossible to separate the two, although our society has engaged in a Herculean effort to disassociate Christmas with Christianity. Much to the chagrin of atheists and secular humanists such an effort will never be completely successful because Christmas is a fundamentally Christian Holliday and as long as inquiring minds exist to ask “Why do we celebrate Christmas?” their efforts to eradicate Christ from Christmas will never be completely successful.

In light of the season (CHRISTmas), and in the spirit of giving (like GOD did), I have a suggestion for a new holiday (a modern word derived from HOLY DAY) that atheists may celebrate without fear of violating their core principles. I give you “FESTIVESS”!! (Thank you Gerry Seinfeld). Since we are creating a new day of celebration (careful, don’t use the word holiday) we can celebrate it anytime we desire. I suggest the date of Chuck Darwin’s birth but feel free to pick your own meaningful day of the year. During the celebration of Festivess families (defined as two or more people of any sex that love each other and who may or may not live together) and/or close friends can gather together and have a large meal. This will foster a sense of closeness and trust that will be very important in surviving the next phase of celebration. At the conclusion of the meal participants can then engage in an “Airing of the grievances” during which they can air out all the dirty laundry and bad feelings that have accumulated during the previous year. This will foster a sense of openness and honesty among participants as well as provide an opportunity for conflict resolution leading to a stronger community. Upon conclusion of the Airing of the Grievances partiers can then transition into the final phase of celebration, which is quite naturally the “Feats of Strength”. The Feats of Strength portion of the evening is the ULTIMATE in conflict resolution. Both males and females may participate, however, if males and females wish to compete against one another it is suggested that the physically larger party be handicapped with several stiff drinks to stymie their coordination and balance thereby allowing the smaller party an equal chance at successful conflict resolution. Actually, upon further reflection, this handicap should be extended to include all parties because admitting any difference in the sexes might offend militant feminists, bisexuals, and other attendees. At the conclusion of the celebration revelers should feel a deeper sense of community and be excitedly anticipating next year’s Festivess Celebration.

In all seriousness, Merry Christmas and may God bless you richly in the upcoming year. If you find that offensive, Merry Christmas anyway and I still hope that God blesses you richly in the upcoming year. Jesus is still the reason for the season and Jesus Christ came to seek and to save the lost. This is why we celebrate Christmas. It is a day set aside to mark the ultimate gift from God to humanity; redemption, salvation, forgiveness, and life.